"Shades of Douglas Adams..."
Meet Earl Grey, a down-on-his-luck small-time newspaper reporter. So far, Earl's pre-mid-life crisis has included a nasty divorce, a dead-end job, and a shit-ton of psychological baggage leftover from childhood. So the news of his sudden appointment as Media Liaison for God Himself comes as no surprise. Just another day in hell, complete with panic attacks, self-doubt, and 5 a.m. wake-up calls.
It's 2005, and the Almighty's earth-shattering arrival in Phoenix, Arizona, has ignited worldwide debate. Found near death in the Arizona desert, this elderly, foul-mouthed, eccentric dressed in Armani is admitted to the psychological ward of the Phoenix General Hospital. His only demand? To relate His urgent global message via one hand-picked human being. And, to the considerable surprise of all humanity, it's Earl.
Earl Grey, atheist by nature, cynic by trade, gets coerced into interviewing this alleged God and relaying His words to a waiting global press. Earl's staunch disbelief and staggering lack of enthusiasm are evident from minute one, that is... until the miracles begin.
Soon, Earl finds himself surrounded by a veritable feast of both loveable and despicable characters, all of whom are not entirely what they seem. And Earl quickly learns that with great access comes great danger, finding himself neck-deep in a Who-Is-It mystery of biblical proportions.
Earl's problems are initiated by the scheming machinations of the Acting Hospital Administrator, Frank Shedmore and his Chief Medical Director, Dr. Rory MacMann. God's fortuitous arrival, seemingly dropping in their laps, becomes the nucleus of a plan to revive the Hospital's horrible reputation.
Next up, enter the Catholic Church God-Squad, demanding proof that this so-called God is indeed divine. Quickly followed by the arrivals of the FBI, a hapless hitman and a foul-mouthed satanic visitor wrapped in holy garb. In need of balance and sanity, Earl confides in Orlando, his pint-sized chauffeur, and Mary-Lynn Wu, a beautiful TV news reporter – both of whom want nothing more than to help Earl in his quest for the truth. Or do they?
Lastly, of course, there's "God" Himself, or John Doe, as he's known to the international media looming large outside the hospital doors. Is this unusual man actually God… or possibly something far more intriguing?
With the very survival of humankind at stake, Earl must uncover the truth about John Doe before His time on earth runs out. That is... if time ever existed in the first place.
WHO IS MARTIN FEATHERSTON
Before belly-flopping into the deep end of the writing pool, Martin spent several excruciating decades in the business world. Plus, a few moments of personal joy as a part-time lecturer at Montreal's McGill University.
But now, free from politically correct corporate-speak and the obligation to wear pants, he writes short stories and fictional novels from his home in Canada.
Born in Rugby, England, Martin was snatched from the crib and quickly immersed in all facets of British humour. He spent his childhood looking for the meaning of life through a lens dominated by Goons, Pythons and Galactic Hitchhikers. So, it should be no surprise that, as a grown man, his global perspective remains a tad bent.
Unable to skate, Martin was considered an outcast in Canada and summarily banished to the small village of Elora, Ontario, where he was outnumbered by cows. As such, he has embraced a dietary policy of 'no red meat' to pacify the more militant bovines in the neighbourhood. His hobbies include Amateur Radiology, Ardvarkian Philosophy and collecting pottery-based weapons.
Martin is a citizen of both the U.K. and Canada and plans to leave everything to his Great Grandfather.
"...sarcastic, witty and provoking… feels like it has a Gaiman-esque influence."
"Honestly, I loved it."
"...set the bar for modern literary humour."
"Earl Grey takes you on a personal and profound journey… in a wry and witty manner."
"Sometimes, you have to let go to find out if there was anything worth holding onto. Except in that last scene in Titanic. What was up with that? I mean, Rose said she'd never let go. And what did she do…?
"I laughed so hard I peed on my horse."
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
"This is a great book! As soon as I started it, I got a Douglas Adams vibe, but Mr. Featherston has a style all his own. Highly recommended!"
"The storyline felt quite unique as I haven't come across a story similar to this one."
"It definitely appealed to my dry, and a bit dark, sense of humour, so I laughed a great deal throughout."
"If you are an Adams fan craving his wit, you will want to read this. It is like visiting with our old friend Douglas while also meeting someone new. You won’t be sorry."
"It was a witty, fun, great story with fully developed characters. There are truly parts that will have you cracking up."
"This up-and-coming author just toppled Christopher Moore from his lofty perch on my "Irreverent Humor" shelf."
"Nothing Sacred: is so well-researched.
It encompasses religion, faith, love, and science in a way that is not only understandable and plausible, but endearing to the reader.
Congratulations, Martin J. Featherston! You are a masterful storyteller with an innate talent for writing and a universal clarity and grasp of the unknown second to none."
10 Thousand Fields
"Utterly brilliant, as well as very funny."
"Thought-provoking and laugh-out-loud hilarious... this book did it in aces."
David Poley - LinkedIn